Can Curiosity Trump Fear?

I had a very interesting conversation with an old friend yesterday. He called to wish me a happy birthday and, as so often happens these days, politics made a brief, polite appearance. And, as so often happens these days, we rapidly tap-danced our way out of the exchange and changed the subject to less “unpleasant” topics. I am, however, left with an uneasy feeling and so many questions.

How did we come to this place where people—even those who share many common world views—find it so difficult to have a conversation about the state of the world? Why IS it so uncomfortable? Because it was uncomfortable. 

He commented he is watching a lot of MSNBC, which prompted my comment that I don’t watch the news programs, that I am equally disgusted with the liberal and the conservative media for manipulating the truth to push their agenda. That I don’t believe any of them. My comment was met with something along this line: “Well, then Trump has won. That’s what happened in Nazi Germany, they manipulated the people so they didn’t believe anyone...” Some general comments about not closing our eyes to what’s happening, and the presence of true evil in this world…and we wound up at what has become a familiar choice point. Do we dive in to this debate? Share our thoughts and opinions, with open curiosity? Or do we perform a side step in our dance and move on to less unpleasant things?

It was a birthday call. I had someplace I needed to be shortly. And…it was, well, uncomfortable. So…pirouette! About face! Scramble!

The overall conversation was pleasant, a sweet re-connection after many years. And, it was disturbing. 

For me, the presence of good and evil in the world is an illusion born of separation. When we paint someone or some group as purely evil, we reinforce the separation that already exists, and we place ourselves squarely in the “good” camp. We shore up our defenses, build our case, align with people who think like us. This is how wars are started, and make no mistake about it, the dynamic of war is alive in our society. To the point where we may wind up creating separation from the people we know and love, who we maybe even respect, if they view things a bit differently.

I am aware that I made a choice during that call. My friend and I joined together in a mutual pirouette. It is still very much a challenge for me to lean in to uncomfortable conversations. To bring my voice forward when I feel someone is not hearing me. When I feel someone is making an assumption that not viewing the matter the way they do means I am somehow ignorant or closing my eyes to the situation. Au contraire. My eyes are wide open.

From my perspective, holding a broader view of what’s happening in this country, in this world, is exactly what is needed. Seeing the truth of what is unfolding—all of it, from all factions, is critically important. There is truth in every perspective, and it is possible for us to hold all truth, even conflicting truths. Until we are able to respect each other enough to have difficult conversations, to loosen our death grip on our “truth,” we will remain in the same kettle of soup we’re in right now. Adversarial. Judgmental. And beneath all of the it, fearful. 

Fear is what drives us into our separate camps. And camps must be defended. And when we do that, we live in a perpetual state of war.

It is so important to welcome these conversations. I am learning to lean in. I see it, but so often after the fact. After the conversation has happened, after the pirouette. I aspire to be open and aware enough to lean in during those exchanges. To engage my curiosity, to learn more about other perspectives. For now, all I can do is go back and invite the conversation with my friend. And that, I will do.

How do you manage these types of situations?

A Deeper Spiritual Experience of Life

Every once in awhile I get a call or message that goes something like this: Do you know anything about meditation/chakras/reiki/spirituality? You seem like you might have some thoughts on this.

Well, I do have some thoughts on this, and have spent the last thirty years exploring the territory of spirituality in many forms. However, when it comes to offering advice, I feel somewhat paralyzed. My first inclination is to share my most powerful meditation practices and favorite recordings that help me find my zone. Then I remember how much that sucks, when someone comes forward with a 'recipe' that works for them, and I find it doesn't work for me at all. Epic fail. Opportunity for those voices inside to chime in, a chorus of "See, I told ya you can't meditate!"

These requests for help and advice are very real and soul-felt, and I would neither want to disregard them or offer a recipe. My wish is for everyone to find their own way into a deeper spiritual experience of life.

So, here's my advice: The only way forward in the discovery of a deeper spiritual experience of life is to find your way forward. This process is completely unique for each one of us, and there are countless tools out there to help you on your journey. The trick is to hold the intention of deepening, survey the options that are out there, and try new practices. Often. They don't call it the practice of meditation for no reason.

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I have found a daily practice to be key in my overall well-being and happiness. I know for most folks this conjures images of me sitting in lotus position like a yogini (riiigght - my knees would never tolerate lotus position!), and blissing out each morning with gongs and bells playing in the background. Mind you, sometimes I do that (minus the lotus position—I'm nice and comfy in my recliner). And sometimes my morning practice is sipping a cafe latte in the quiet as I watch the sun announce itself to the New Mexico sky. Maybe I'm in the mood for some movement, so I begin my day with some simple stretches or yoga, or an early morning walk. Or, like today, my contemplations find their way onto the page in the form of writing, or are recorded on my handy-dandy iPhone. Maybe some reading, or just sitting in the quiet.

My point is, I need to mix it up a lot. I hold the intention for a daily time of reflection, and most days I do that. Not every single day, that's just not reality. But I find I miss it when I don't. That time of reflection has become an anchor for me. I've learned to be quiet, to hear my own thoughts, to slip underneath the busy mind-chatter into my deep thoughts. To listen to my inner knowing. To respect and honor that knowing as if it came from the wisest sage. Because it did—no one can possibly know what's right for me better than me, myself.

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Perhaps the toughest part of starting any kind of practice is making the commitment and carving out the time and space to do it. Maybe that's a practice in itself—sitting with your feelings about making that choice. Does it make you feel proud? Peaceful? Happy? Selfish? Restless? Indulgent? Allow that process to unfold over the course of days, weeks, or even months until you feel ready for something different. Then explore other options.



There are many. Have some fun with searching them out. Pay attention to what grabs your attention, or lights up for you. Pay attention to what shows up! Here are some options I'm aware of:

• Get yourself outside in nature. Breathe in. Breathe out. Look around you. Tune in to the beauty. Put your feet on the ground. Ahhh....
• Oprah has teamed up with Deepak Chopra to provide meditation guidance in a series of 21-day Meditation Challenges. Read more info or sign up at oprah.com/meditate.
• Get some meditation music, and just listen to it. Maybe even on the way to or from work (no lotus position or closed eyes, please!). Some of my favorites are Stephen Halpern's Deep Theta, Gary Malkin's Unspeakable Grace, Eckhart Tolle's Music to Quiet the Mind, and 33 Bowls Tibetan Singing Bowls.  
• If you're wanting to really go "out there," Tom Kenyon's website offers lots of free information and recordings based on his work with The Hathors and Mary Magdaline. He is a master when it comes to the power of sound, and his other-worldly recordings can provide an entry portal into altered states of consciousness.Take a trip to his website and see if he strikes a chord with you.
• There is a ton of information out there on mindfulness, which is not only practical throughout your day, but can help you build a practice of meditation. Do a search on it and see what you find.
• Take a class on meditation, or yoga, or Reiki, or any of the many other options out there. Maybe it doesn't end up opening a new life-path for you, but often a class can open other doors for you, broaden your understanding of what you like and don't like, and help you meet other like-minded seekers.
• Challenge yourself with some evocative reading. I'm fascinated by the meeting place between human consciousness and quantum physics. This is not for everyone, but I love books like The Field by Lynne McTaggert, or books by Barbara Marciniak including Bringers of the Dawn. Books like these push my edges, and help me entertain ideas of a much bigger world than the one we routinely perceive.

These suggestions are just that—suggestions. The main take-away here is that it's YOUR journey, completely defined by you and conducted in a way that works for you. Morning, mid-day, evening, rotating—you decide the time of day. The amount of time. It's the intention that matters, the process of learning to put yourself absolutely first for those moments in time. Toss aside any presumptions about what it has to look like or feel like, and just be present with what is. It might even be super uncomfortable for awhile, but stick with it! You'll find your way...because it's your way to fnd.

We are living in an amazing, transitional time. Whenever one of us carves out the time and space to tune in and listen, we are making a contribution to the collective whole of humanity. It's important. Not only for ourselves and our own sanity, but in terms of forging a new path forward for all.

With love and respect,

Zardoya

Can Dystopian Fiction Provide a Pathway to Choosing our Future?

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Rescue Me!

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Do we, as a collective society, have a Rescue Fantasy?

This question came up for me this week, as I heard the news of a special counsel being appointed to look into the potential of Russia interfering in the US elections. There has been huge public outcry for this to happen - someone has to do something, right? And then, whew! It happened.

Maybe I'm just jaded, but it got me wondering if there is really anyone who can come to the rescue of this fractured country. For every liberal-minded person celebrating this appointment, there's a conservative-minded person thinking it's unjustified and unnecessary.

This notion of rescue runs deep in our collective consciousness. It seems many thought Trump would rescue us from a slide into socialist-minded governing. Many thought Clinton could rescue us from the prospect of a Trump administration. Many think the government can rescue us; others think we need to be rescued from the government.

It goes deeper than politics, though. The notion of our need to be rescued runs through the major religions: Christ, Buddha, and Mohammed were all a type of savior/messiah. They came to rescue us from sin, or the human condition of the mind, our flawed humanity. Jews and Christians are waiting for the second coming of the messiah, so we can get rescued again.

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It runs through movies and TV shows and commercial advertising: a young girl learns she must wait for her knight in shining armor to rescue and fulfill her; boys learn that the purity of love from a woman can rescue them from a depraved life; some folks marry to be rescued from a life of loneliness, and then marry again to rescue themselves from the pain of a first marriage gone wrong.

We are shown again and again by countless super-heroes that humanity must be saved from itself; just think, for a moment of all the rescue messages we receive in the course of a day. Begin to notice them - I guarantee, it'll be eye-opening.

Where does this come from, deep at the source? Because when you look at us human beings, we are pretty amazing creations. When we incarnate we are, on all levels (physical, spiritual, and emotional), whole and complete in every way. I'm not talking about an infant needing care for survival, or our fundamental need for human connection. If you strip away the countless thousands of years of programming that we are somehow flawed and in need of rescue; if you dig deep into our essential nature, we are whole. Holy. A unique, physical manifestation of spirit. I'm in awe of that.

What if we each tapped into our wholeness, stopped believing that we are fundamentally flawed and/or a sinner, stopped blaming others for all that we perceive as wrong in the world, stopped waiting for the next messiah or guru or world leader to show us the way? What if we learned to listen to our own knowing without question, and acted accordingly? What if we were able to recognize immediately when we are being programmed with bullshit messages that if only we ____, then we'd finally be ______ (happy, successful, loved)?

What if we realize that this entire culture is of our own creation; that it's a mind game in which we are allowing ourselves to be cheated of our own divine nature?

It takes courage to step out of the collective mind game, to take ownership for our lives and the world we are creating. The choice is ours: keep going along for the ride, hoping that someday our prince will come (metaphorically speaking, of course!)? Or to see through the charade, realize that the emperor is, indeed, naked as can be, and work to create the life we are dreaming of?

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With love and respect,

Zardoya

What Are We Thinking?

Are any of you watching The Handmaid's Tale series on television? The program is based on Margaret Atwood's book, which I read in the eighties and again a few years ago. An excellent, albeit disconcerting story of an Old meets New World Order in which a totalitarian theocracy has taken over the United States. In this world, women have no rights whatsoever, and are subjugated to lives as either servants or forced-surrogates to bear children for the commanders in the government. This is not a pretty picture.

Now this story is available in a very well-scripted, well-acted, all-too-real version right in our living rooms. I watched the first three episodes with my sister a few weeks ago, and we both found ourselves deeply disturbed. All the while I was watching, I was hearing a voice in my head: "This can't happen here. Could this actually happen here?" 

The third episode bothered me the most. The main character found her credit card disabled when she went to make a purchase. She called the company, only to find out that all of her accounts had been shut down, and only her husband could access her funds. There were a series of scenes in which the city was taken over by 'police.' The women kept saying "This can't be happening. They can't do this..." Over and over again, my own thoughts played out on the screen.

I have worked with my thoughts about this program over the past few weeks. It's hard to miss the ominous undertone of the story line. Even though it was written in the eighties, it seems written for this time. I've been asking myself, what are people doing with their feelings when they watch this show? It seems to me that we can go one of two directions with it: we can collapse into fear that this is our future path; or we can say HELL NO.

I choose HELL NO. This means that every time the disturbing scenes go through my mind, I say NO. I made a choice not to watch the next episodes, at least not yet. I know the story, I've read the book. And...NO.

Then I saw an innocent post on Facebook yesterday, in which a woman I respect made a comment that ended with "...and gearing up for the real-life Handmaid's Tale that's coming next." My heart quite literally skipped a beat. Is this what people think? Is this what they are doing with their feelings about this TV series, and also about the endless stream of theocratic bullshit coming out of Washington?

I suspect this was a casual comment, and our thoughts are always a reflection of what's really going on inside of us.

Here's why this whole situation bothers me so much: what if it's true that our thoughts create our reality?

The woo-woo new-agers have been claiming this as truth for many years. I don't identify as a woo-woo new-ager, but I have also believed this to be true for many years. And now, quantum science is coming forward with credible proof that matter is, indeed, influenced by thought. Curious? Think I'm crazy? Do a Google search, just see what all comes up. Read some of the new books out there on the topic. It'll definitely get your attention. Here are a couple of links to get you started: Nothing is Solid and Everything is Energy, and Parallel Worlds Exist and Interact with Our World. Read Gregg Braden's books, or Lynn McTaggart's book The Field.

Another option is to get quiet and ask the question, deep inside of yourself. I've been engaged in this question for a long time, and what I see is that we humans are sort of dangling in between the unmanifest world, the world of spirit, and the world of matter that we live in. The energies of creation move through us, are influenced by our thoughts and intentions, and then they take form. When enough people in the collective field of energy we live in believe something strongly enough, it takes form in the collective world of matter.

If there's even a chance that this is true, then what we think and what we say matters. A lot.

Now, more than ever, we need to be conscious of the impact a TV series, or a news article, a movie, or a conversation with others has on us. It takes a nano-second for fear to rise. We can all see the potential for something like The Handmaid's Tale to become reality. It's hanging there in the collective field, and if enough of us believe that this is what's to come, then it shall be so. That's how it works.

And, the HELL NO option is hanging in the collective field, too. There is strong evidence of that, every single day. The important thing to realize is that we are choosing which one becomes reality, each and every moment, with each and every thought, word, and action we take.

Back when I was learning to cross-country ski, my friend's husband gave me a tip that changed everything for me. He said to always keep my eyes on the trail where I wanted my skis to go, focusing just beyond the tips of my skis. The moment you look off to the side of the trail, he said, your skis will follow and you will fall down. Mind you, he'd been watching me fall down over and over again. I'd come upon a sharp corner and would look off-trail and fear would rise up in my chest and I'd think, I don't want to go there! And then I'd go exactly there! And...I'd fall down. Once I kept my eyes focused on exactly where I wanted to go, my skis magically followed. And I didn't fall down...well, not as much, anyway.


Keep your thoughts focused, friends. It's important. The stakes are high. We are co-creating the future, and way past the point that we can get by with blaming others when we fall down. Maybe you think this is all a bunch of woo-woo crap. But...what if it isn't?

With love and respect,

Zardoya

Inner Activism

How have you been faring during the tumultuous past few weeks? Months? Year?

Have you been able to maintain a sense of inner peace? Or have you been pulled into the dualistic fray of the political storm we're living in?

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Kind of hard NOT to be impacted these days, right? My dear friend, Audrey, described it this way—she said “It’s like walking a razor’s edge between anger and apathy.”  Her words captured exactly how I’d been feeling.

When I pay attention to what’s in the news, or I have conversations with people about all that is swirling, sometimes I’m filled with emotions like anger, disappointment, and fear. It’s so much easier to check out of it all, to live out here on the canyon rim and just be with the beauty, cultivate my own inner peace. Anger…or apathy. I want—no, I need—to find and live on middle ground. Because getting stuck in anger only feeds the fray, and checking out does not serve the greater good; it even potentially serves the devolution of our society.

So, here we are, caught in an increasingly polarized dynamic of good and evil. Both ‘sides’ making the other the enemy. Painting horrible pictures of the other, run by fear and rage. Fear and rage that run deep, have been present in the collective field for countless years. And now, in many ways thanks to our new President, they are right here, in our face, on the surface, and demanding our attention.

We’re at a crossroads, a true choice point as to how we unfold the future for the generations to come. People’s passions are ignited. The Women’s March on Washington was incredibly inspiring, and a sign of commitment from millions that they will show up for what they feel is important. My guess is there are many in the opposite camp who are equally inspired and committed. And YES to action! YES to putting a stake in the ground for the future!

That, however, is not what this post is about. I’m more interested in our inner journey at this time, because what’s going on inside of us forms the foundation for our activism. It’s what makes the difference between increased polarization and opposition, and change based in focused intention.

Now, more than ever, it’s crucial to be impeccable. To pay attention to what is surfacing for you, and keep your focus on healing whatever is being triggered. Because rarely a day goes by that something isn’t spoken, or tweeted, or written, that will trigger you. And when our action is fueled by our reactions, we’re holding ourselves to the same old same dynamic—a political ping-pong game in which the people are set up to lose. Over and over again.

When our actions are based in belief that ‘they’ are the enemy, and become personally focused attacks emerging from anger, we’re feeding the dynamic of opposition and polarity. We’re allowing ourselves to become the enemy of the other, and strengthening the division.

I was very torn as I watched the live stream of the Women’s March last weekend. I loved the power of the gathering—was moved to tears over and over again. The speeches were fiery, and potent, and truth-filled. And righteously angry. And, sometimes personally directed in a way that made me uneasy. I could feel the ripple, how people of other opinion would now have ammunition to make all of those passionate, activated humans into the enemy. I feared an increased divide as a result.

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An example: when Ashley Judd performed Nasty Woman written by Nina Donovan, a nineteen year old woman (nineteen!) from Tennessee, I watched and listened with a mixture of emotions. I rejoiced! I cheered! And I cringed. The words elicited strong reactions within me. And, I’m quite certain, they elicited strong reactions in many.

I cheered at the authentic, brazen expression of things that have been taboo to speak of, like periods, sexual predation, and the horrifying pay gap between women of color and white women. I cheered as Ashley chanted the names of the powerful women that came before us: Susan...Eleanor...Amelia...Rosa...Gloria...Michelle...Hillary. 

I cringed because there were times when the words felt like personal attacks against our President. Not that they weren’t justified, but they were personal. It was uncomfortable for me to hear. 

What a gift Ms. Donovan gave me that day! She created a work of art that reached into my guts and give them a twist, wringing out stuff I'd rather keep hidden. She allowed me to experience my triggers, to see what I didn't want to see. To touch my anger, and to consider deeply how I want to express that anger. Not step away from it into apathy, but see it. Feel it. Express it.

It's easy to strike out, to make it personal. I see examples of this every day in my own thoughts and words, my conversations with others. And I get this sick feeling in my stomach every time I collapse into this easy path. It doesn't feel right.

So, how do we walk this line between anger and apathy with impeccability? 

My belief is that we must do our own inner work first and foremost, before we consider action. Instead of lashing out, making others into the evil enemy, take an honest look at what is being triggered in you. What past traumas or belief systems are being challenged? Is your ego involved? Attachment? How can you move this energy in some other way than striking out?

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It's up to us to pull that energy into our hearts and do the healing work that is needed on a personal level. There are many tools available—mindfulness meditation, breathwork, bodywork, even Deepak and Oprah have free meditations available. Search online for the tools that work for you. Maybe your church has a healing prayer, or a group that meets. 

Each of us has to find our way. Do your healing work, and then move into action. Whatever form of action calls you forward, be that more marches, or poetry, or song, or volunteering, or writing your senators or writing a blog...the possibilities for expression are endless. Expressive action, pure action from the heart that can pave the way to a sustainable, equitable, spiritual future for the generations to come. 

So YES to expression, in whatever form it comes. Even if it is snarky, or lands a bit more on the anger side of the razor blade, bring it! Move that energy, free it from the stuck place it's been for thousands of years. Allow it to trigger you, and to trigger others—and then, pull it inside, move it into your heart, and be courageous enough to look at the parts of you that are crying out to be healed. 

The dance of life. The dance of love. The inner and the outer. The yin and the yang. The divine masculine and divine feminine.

With love and respect,

Zardoya

What Can We Learn from Standing Rock? Part 4: Bring it Home

From the Elders at Standing Rock, the Fourth Principle: Bring it Home. What are the issues alive in your own neighborhood and how is the earth, water, and air needing your help? The work before us is everywhere.

For me, this is the most important principle of them all. This is, as they say, where the rubber meets the road. 

The elders are showing us a new way forward—a way based on indigenous wisdom, ancient practices that have proven to be life-sustaining and that hold the wholeness of the system, what is best for all, at the heart of their prayer and their work in the world.  They are creating a new legacy, and opening the way for us to do the same. Many of us are feeling a powerful sense of I’m Sorry…for the history of atrocity against Native Americans by this country, and also for the damage we’ve witnessed and participated in against this planet. It is powerful to see the truth, to acknowledge the wrongs that have been done.

This apology is a great start. There’s another very important component to moving forward in a new legacy, though. Yes, I’m sorry. And…Never Again.

This is where the rubber meets the road. This is where we Bring it Home.

An apology without action can soon become empty words. It’s how we move forward that gives our words substance.

What actions can you take in your day to day life that walk this new legacy forward and make it real? Is there anything going on that hits you in the gut, that feels as if it is not in the interest of the whole, is not life affirming? Anything you’d like to see come to life? Any neighbors you’d like to reach out to, get to know better? Volunteer work to be done? Where are you called to put your stake in the ground?

This doesn’t have to be a big deal. It’s the small stuff that really makes a difference—action by action, thought by thought, word by word. That’s how we bring it home. The consistency of our thoughts, words and actions. The persistent commitment to keep our prayer at the center of our day to day lives. Our choices as to where we spend our money, where we bank, who we do business with. Where we invest our money. 

Are there any issues related to the earth, to air, to water that you have passion for? How can you take action to help this country move forward in a way the cares for the planet?

As we move forward into 2017, I invite you to dream into ways you can create a new legacy in your life. When you hold this in your heart as a priority, the daily choices you make will be influenced. In the very best of ways. 

Sending you all love, and blessings over this holiday time.

With respect,

Zardoya