Inner Activism

How have you been faring during the tumultuous past few weeks? Months? Year?

Have you been able to maintain a sense of inner peace? Or have you been pulled into the dualistic fray of the political storm we're living in?

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Kind of hard NOT to be impacted these days, right? My dear friend, Audrey, described it this way—she said “It’s like walking a razor’s edge between anger and apathy.”  Her words captured exactly how I’d been feeling.

When I pay attention to what’s in the news, or I have conversations with people about all that is swirling, sometimes I’m filled with emotions like anger, disappointment, and fear. It’s so much easier to check out of it all, to live out here on the canyon rim and just be with the beauty, cultivate my own inner peace. Anger…or apathy. I want—no, I need—to find and live on middle ground. Because getting stuck in anger only feeds the fray, and checking out does not serve the greater good; it even potentially serves the devolution of our society.

So, here we are, caught in an increasingly polarized dynamic of good and evil. Both ‘sides’ making the other the enemy. Painting horrible pictures of the other, run by fear and rage. Fear and rage that run deep, have been present in the collective field for countless years. And now, in many ways thanks to our new President, they are right here, in our face, on the surface, and demanding our attention.

We’re at a crossroads, a true choice point as to how we unfold the future for the generations to come. People’s passions are ignited. The Women’s March on Washington was incredibly inspiring, and a sign of commitment from millions that they will show up for what they feel is important. My guess is there are many in the opposite camp who are equally inspired and committed. And YES to action! YES to putting a stake in the ground for the future!

That, however, is not what this post is about. I’m more interested in our inner journey at this time, because what’s going on inside of us forms the foundation for our activism. It’s what makes the difference between increased polarization and opposition, and change based in focused intention.

Now, more than ever, it’s crucial to be impeccable. To pay attention to what is surfacing for you, and keep your focus on healing whatever is being triggered. Because rarely a day goes by that something isn’t spoken, or tweeted, or written, that will trigger you. And when our action is fueled by our reactions, we’re holding ourselves to the same old same dynamic—a political ping-pong game in which the people are set up to lose. Over and over again.

When our actions are based in belief that ‘they’ are the enemy, and become personally focused attacks emerging from anger, we’re feeding the dynamic of opposition and polarity. We’re allowing ourselves to become the enemy of the other, and strengthening the division.

I was very torn as I watched the live stream of the Women’s March last weekend. I loved the power of the gathering—was moved to tears over and over again. The speeches were fiery, and potent, and truth-filled. And righteously angry. And, sometimes personally directed in a way that made me uneasy. I could feel the ripple, how people of other opinion would now have ammunition to make all of those passionate, activated humans into the enemy. I feared an increased divide as a result.

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An example: when Ashley Judd performed Nasty Woman written by Nina Donovan, a nineteen year old woman (nineteen!) from Tennessee, I watched and listened with a mixture of emotions. I rejoiced! I cheered! And I cringed. The words elicited strong reactions within me. And, I’m quite certain, they elicited strong reactions in many.

I cheered at the authentic, brazen expression of things that have been taboo to speak of, like periods, sexual predation, and the horrifying pay gap between women of color and white women. I cheered as Ashley chanted the names of the powerful women that came before us: Susan...Eleanor...Amelia...Rosa...Gloria...Michelle...Hillary. 

I cringed because there were times when the words felt like personal attacks against our President. Not that they weren’t justified, but they were personal. It was uncomfortable for me to hear. 

What a gift Ms. Donovan gave me that day! She created a work of art that reached into my guts and give them a twist, wringing out stuff I'd rather keep hidden. She allowed me to experience my triggers, to see what I didn't want to see. To touch my anger, and to consider deeply how I want to express that anger. Not step away from it into apathy, but see it. Feel it. Express it.

It's easy to strike out, to make it personal. I see examples of this every day in my own thoughts and words, my conversations with others. And I get this sick feeling in my stomach every time I collapse into this easy path. It doesn't feel right.

So, how do we walk this line between anger and apathy with impeccability? 

My belief is that we must do our own inner work first and foremost, before we consider action. Instead of lashing out, making others into the evil enemy, take an honest look at what is being triggered in you. What past traumas or belief systems are being challenged? Is your ego involved? Attachment? How can you move this energy in some other way than striking out?

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It's up to us to pull that energy into our hearts and do the healing work that is needed on a personal level. There are many tools available—mindfulness meditation, breathwork, bodywork, even Deepak and Oprah have free meditations available. Search online for the tools that work for you. Maybe your church has a healing prayer, or a group that meets. 

Each of us has to find our way. Do your healing work, and then move into action. Whatever form of action calls you forward, be that more marches, or poetry, or song, or volunteering, or writing your senators or writing a blog...the possibilities for expression are endless. Expressive action, pure action from the heart that can pave the way to a sustainable, equitable, spiritual future for the generations to come. 

So YES to expression, in whatever form it comes. Even if it is snarky, or lands a bit more on the anger side of the razor blade, bring it! Move that energy, free it from the stuck place it's been for thousands of years. Allow it to trigger you, and to trigger others—and then, pull it inside, move it into your heart, and be courageous enough to look at the parts of you that are crying out to be healed. 

The dance of life. The dance of love. The inner and the outer. The yin and the yang. The divine masculine and divine feminine.

With love and respect,

Zardoya