Making a Lane Change

photo credit: Håkan Dahlström via photopin.com

Do you ever feel like this? Sort of off-kilter, knocked off your foundation, like you've "lost your moorings?"

For whatever reason, I've felt a bit off balance over the past couple of weeks. I've spoken with many others who have been feeling the same way. Is it the change of season? Here in Minnesota, we tend to blame almost everything on the changing seasons...or perhaps it's a disturbance in the force, a la Star Wars? The alignment of the stars? Whatever the reason, it's here. And it's disturbing. It feels like nothing is quite right.

The other day, in the course of just an hour or so, I made a series of phone calls from my "To Do" list. One call after the other felt like a roadblock. I got several No's to requests I made, then got cut off a couple times when I was placed on hold....my tension level was climbing. Normally I'm able to just let it go, move on to something else, it's no big deal. But because I've been in that off-kilter place, I was having hard time getting letting it go. It felt as if the door slammed shut on each path I ventured down.. You know the feeling, right?

For me, it starts as a tight feeling in my chest, then it'll move down to my gut, and if left unchecked, soon it feels like I've got a tiger inside of me that's going to explode out of my throat and take out the next person who tells me NO!

Definitely not the Peace Lane!

What's a gal to do when the obstacles are being thrown in front of you, when nothing feels right, when you've got a proverbial tiger in your tank?

Photo credit freefoto.com

I stopped. I stepped away from the desk, put down the phone. Looked out the window, watched the birds happily flitting around my bird feeder. Walked around outside (in our "spring-like" 40 degree weather). I breathed. I chuckled a bit at the rapid-fire succession of signs that life gave me telling me it was time to stop. With just that little bit of distance and focused attention on how I was feeling, it became easy for me to see the path forward. I was able to go back to my desk, pick up a project that I wanted to work on, and enjoy what I was doing. Sometimes, you just gotta step away from the "To Do" list.

My point is: even when we're feeling knocked off our foundation, just becoming aware of the state can prevent a serious spin-out into crazy, hair-pulling, blood pressure raising hell. There's a part of me that has always associated this awareness, or mindfulness as some would call it, with the image of a blissed out meditator sitting in lotus position chanting OM. This is not how most of us live our lives! What I've come to learn is that mindfulness of whatever state you're currently in can really change that state. 

So when you feel yourself start that tension spiral, STOP. Take a two-minute break. Even if you have to pretend it's a two-minute potty break in order to get away, step away from what you're doing. If you can be outdoors or even see outdoors, do it. Breathe. Pay attention to what you're feeling. Notice how you're holding tension in your body. Breathe some more.

It's not about trying to figure out what happened or what to do - it's about being completely present with what you're feeling. Sometimes just acknowledging it can shift you into a quieter state.

Think of it as changing lanes.

There are lots of techniques you can use to release tension. Some people breathe out tension as they exhale. Some visualize the tension melting away. Some folks feel better after a quick walk, or jumping up and down, or screaming into a pillow. No matter what technique you use, it starts with STOPPING and becoming present with what you're feeling. Sometimes, that's all the technique you need.